Brenden M. Reviews Fish Hooks

Brenden M. Reviews Fish Hooks


Cathargia

Definition: Cathargic but with a gia.

-Brenden Marshall


Look people, I'm just gonna review this one as myself because of some cathargic reason but today I will be reviewing not a film, but a television series. Lets start off by talking about Disney. In the 90s, the Walt Disney Company ruled the world of animation with it's great animation, great retelling of classic tales, and great characters. Then the 90s ended and the year 2000 began, at this time 2D was dying out and computer animation was taking over. This was when Disney decided to quit the great animation crap and decided to follow the path Nickelodeon was following when they replaced all their shoes with teen bullshit.

So, since the 2000s, Disney has progressed to the point where their channel has not 1, not 2, but mostly consist of teen sitcoms. Then in 2010, a Illustrator named Noah Z. Jones [You know, the fucker you made Almost Naked Animals] decided that Disney has taken their overused sitcoms to the extreme and that he must do something unique, inspiring, and very much original. Instead however, he made Fish Hooks.


Overview

Fish Hooks is just your typical teen sitcom centered around a bunch of personality deprived characters going about high school. Its like Buzz on Maggie without the humor, so it really has no redeeming qualities of any kind. It does appear to be an attempt to remake Buzz on Maggie, you know by putting non human characters in high school but in reality Fish Hooks is just about a cretin who thinks he's cool, a geek, and a know it all bimbo. What I am saying is that Fish Hooks is just an attempt to make the next Spongebob. Wow, these people couldn't even find a good show to rip off, they just go to the lowest form of animation scum they could find at the time.

Thats like ripping off a boulder, what could you possibly gain from it? The episode plots are just every episode plot from every teen sitcom ever made. A sleepover where the boys dress up, zits during picture, prom, getting sent back a grade, EVERY SINGLE SITCOM EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT even fucking with you people, these are the episodes. They even had an episode parodying High School Musical [Yeah, because My Gym Partner's a Monkey didn't already do that] They also had an episode at a ski resort. How cliche was it?

They used every single cliche in the book. The pizza french fry, the jerky champion, someone getting challenged, its like that South Park episode in Aspen except THEY WERE MAKING FUN OF THIS STORY, Fish Hooks was just making a so called "new" episode around this cliche and they used every single cliche in the book. As I said, its just some cheap attempt to make the next Spongebob but what Jones doesn't understand about cashing in on stuff is that when your trying to make money off something successful like MLP FIM or Spongebob and you don't take the time to fully understand what made the shows successful to begin with, your just gonna make shit. Fish Hooks is the prime example on just that. Noah wants to make the next Spongebob, but instead he just makes an animated version of every single teen sitcom ever but added fish because you know, Fish acting like people hasn't been done before except in Shark Tales.

That's another thing I will touch on with the setting but I'll give you a spoiler. This show also rips off Shark Tale's setting, thus cementing it as one of the most uninmaginable shows ever created in the history of television. Alright, enough about dissing the show for it's unoriginality but I'll sum it all up for you, do you need to know these characters? No, just watch a teen sitcom and you'll know instantly these characters. Do you need to know the story? No, just watch a teen sitcom and you'll know instantly these characters. Do you need to know the episodes? No, JUST WATCH A FUCKING TEEN SITCOM AND THEN COMPARE TO THIS SHIT AND YOU WILL NOT FIND A SINGLE DIFFERENCE.


Characters

With a premise this unispired then you'd think that the writers would put no effort into the characters, and you are abosulely correct.

Lets start the character list with who wikipedia claims to be the protagonist Milo.

Milo: [Voiced by Kyle Massey "Don't get me wrong on this, I like Kyle Massey but you can tell he accepted this role only to hold onto what fame he has left before Disney's diminissing fanbase stops giving a flying shit about him"] There is absolutely nothing I like about him. He's just a 1 dimensional character, his character design is so bad that he looks more like a mutated lizard then a fish. [The character designers obviously have never seen what a real Fish looks like as they all look more like decorative finger puppets with herpes lips then real fish] His voice actor Kyle Massey is terrible as the voice. I'm always aware I'm listening to Kyle Massey talking into a microphone, I never hear a character talking. Wikipedia also claims that he is fun loving "dude" but all I get from him when I watched a couple episodes is that he is dumb as hell and gay. What, tell me that's not the joke they're making. www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkkHnn… [I just want to note that I am not homophobic, I just don't like a character who's only personality trait is being a closet homosexual. 1 dimensional characters do not always have to be bad for example a waitress trying to pay off her medical bills for chemo, but when a character's problem is that he has no personality, that is a bad thing.] Also as I have noted he is just a petty attempt to make the next Spongebob Squarepants but what Noah doesn't understand is what made Spongebob orignally a compelling character. Also about Kyle Massey, you know that they just picked him because of some last minute cash in on a dried up child star and no other reason. He brings nothing to the character that he couldn't bring to any other characteer.

Next is Bea

Bea: She's just your typical dumb bimbo who wants to be popular but also a good person at heart. By dumb I really mean she is abosulutely too stupid to be alive. She always worries about fashion, always fucks up but tries to make up for it, she always wants to be the prom queen, really she's just every female sitcom character ever made spliced into this herpes lipped finger puppet with eyes.

Next is Oscar

Oscar: He's just a geek who can't talk to girls, thats it.


Then they're Jocktopus

Jocktopus: As the name suggests, he's just the jock/bully. Thats all.


Finally they're Mr. Baldwin voiced by the great Dan I'm firing my agent Synder.

Dan, Dan, Dan, what crime did you commit to have to be in this show? You couldn't have thought this would be in this? I can understand Kyle but you couldn't have thought this would be good for your career. This has to be to make you suffer for something.

[Sigh]

Mr. Baldwin: I have extremely mixed thoughts on this character. On one hand he's just your typical grumpy grouchy teacher who wants to quit his job. Really, just like every other sitcom ever. He's also pregnant because he's a sea horse and thats suppose to be funny according to the writers. The only thing I like about this guy is his voice actor Dan Synder. Even though Dan brings nothing he couldn't bring to any other role, he still fits the character perfectly and he can occasionally get a laugh. To the show's credit, they at least use this really talented guy to it's advantage so I'll give them that. Also he's the deepest character in the show because of his pregnancy so I can't fault him too much.


Also there is Clamantha and do I even have to go into detail on why this characters sucks? Who came up with this? It looks like a novelty clam who pasted a wig on and then started saying shitty dialogue with some college fratboy doing the voice of someone he considers really annoying. Also she has a crush of Oscar and thats pretty much it.


Enough with the characters, lets get to the setting


Setting


The show takes place in this fish tank in some pet shop. Really, the fish tank setting isn't anything new and it's just a typical city, but outside the tank is a little interesting. [A little being a word I underline] Its seems though as if this show is just trying to copy the world of Shark Tales with it's humanized fish and underwater city but when Shark Tales was just a massive piece of animated elephant feces with no redeeming qualities of any kind Fish Hooks is........ there is no difference between Shark Tales and Fish Hooks. Really, its just your typical city in a fish tank.

Finally, we get to the animation


Animation

The animation for the most part..... sucks. The character design are one things as I keep pointing out as they look like deformed finger puppets with STD lips as oppose to fish, but lets just ignore that and instead focus on the animation as a whole. It is colorful and inventive but for the most part it seems to just be a way to get the kid's attention without actually having to do anything creative or funny. The background looks like paper, the objects look like detachables, maybe if this was an MTV or Comedy Central show it could work but when your making this a cash grab, its going to fail miserably.

Writing

Finally we get to the part I like to rant about the most, the writing


The writing is some of the worst I have ever heard in children's television ever. Lets start with the joke because honestly there is a lot to rant about with the jokes but I will keep it as short as I can. There are three kinds of jokes in this show, horrible pop culture reference that kids won't get, self referential humor the voice actors that is beyond unsubtle [The Christmas special is a good example as Milo mentions Kyle Massey. So, is that implying Milo somehow knows he a crappy character in a crappy Spongebob/Ant Farm ripoff voiced by a guy who almost had a professional career as an actor but fucked up by choosing to be in shows like Fish Hooks?] And fart jokes. Also, the character's dialogue is horrendous. No character says anything that can give to you but instead take away your IQ like some Jersey Shore spinoff.

The plots as I have said are all just rehashing of high school sitcoms except they do not add anything new to them. There was a episode where Bea finds a doll that is evil that she had as a kid and let me guess it tries to kill her, she gets rid of it, and she later finds out there are more in her house. Jeese, that sounds like that episode of Johnny Bravo that was making fun of that Twilight Zone episode. Oh wait, IT IS A FUCKING RIPOFF OF THAT JOHNNY BRAVO EPISODE!!!!!!! The characters as I said are all 1 dimensional except for Baldwin but even then the guy is barely likable. If it wasn't for Dan Synder the entire cast would all be completely unlikable. Also, the voice acting doesn't help the characters either. Except for Dan Synder, I'm always aware that some voice actor or actress is talking when the character speak, I never hear the characters themselves.


Overall Fish Hooks is just a horendous ripoff of Spongebob/Johnny Bravo/Shark Tales/ and every single teen sitcom ever made. Its not as bad as Fanboy and Chum Chum but at least Fanboy and Chum Chum is potentially getting cancelled by Nick. Fish Hooks will most likely not get cancelled because Disney realize this and Gravity Falls are the only shows that they have that people are watching solely because they are not live action. It is by no means anywhere near Gravity Falls. Gravity Falls has likable characters, great and original stories, and a great setting. Fish Hooks is just trying to be Spongebob but in the end it makes High School Musical 2 look like the Breakfast Club.

The final verdict

1/10


If you like the show, good for you, I won't judge you, we all like things for different reasons. Just please tell me why?