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[N is in the car. Grunkle Stan is driving the car, N is sitting in the front while Mabel and her friends Grenda and Candy. They are fan girl squealing every couple of seconds.]

N: We've been driving for half an hour now. In another couple of minutes we will reach our destination. The girls are only talking about that damn book.

[The girls fan girl squeal]

N: This is worse then ear sodomy. [N observes Grunkle Stan who seems irritated] Even Stan is in much dismay due to their high pitch squeal over a shit vampire book that's rough draft should have been burned instead of published.

[Mordecai and Rigby are the DVD store. They are looking for Battle Ship to no avail.]

Mordecai: I don't think they have it dude.

Rigby: Come on, it just came in today.

Cashier: Hey, can I help you two find something?

Mordecai: Hey, do you guys have Battleship?

Cashier: Yes, but you will have to talk with the manager on that. I'll get him for you.

[The cashier gets out a menacing looking book from under the desk. He opens the book. The pages are blank at first but blood red letters then appear, followed by a sudden flash. The manager then emerges from the smoke. The manager is an evil looking figure with a pointy nose, scars all over his face, a eye that is missing a pupil, his nails are long and untrimmed, and he is wearing a black robe.]

Manager: [In an evil voice] Who dares to summon me?

Rigby: Um, hey, do you have Battleship?

Manager: So, you wish to rent the film known as Battleship. Am I correct?

Mordecai: Um, ya.

Manager: Ha, do you know how many will crave to see this film? It is shitty yes, but it is still going to motivate those bravest of adventurers to seek it out. Yes, I have it, but first you must enter my realm of torment and pain and best my ordeal in order to rent this film.

Mordecai: Wait, what?

[The manager teleports Mordecai and Rigby to the center of his realm.]

Rigby: [looks around, there are burning corpses hanging on the wooden ceilings] Looks like a level out of Doom or something.

Mananger: Do you like it?

Rigby: Look man, can we just have the DVD? I think we have enough to rent for three days.

Mananger: For this DVD no earthly credits is required, but whether you must best me at [gets out a box of Clue] my challenge.

Mordecai: [Unamused] Alright.

[At Nny's house, Nny is cleaning up a knife he used to kill his latest victim when he hears his door bell ring. He answers the door to see Pinkie Pie with her party cannon.]

Nny: [Sarcastically] Great, you again. Um, what is that contraption?

Pinkie Pie: This is my state of the arc PARTY CANNON!

Nny: [Looks at Pinkie confusingly] Right, and what do you plan on doing with it?

Pinkie Pie: Well, it occurred to me what you need is a someone to talk to. So I'm throwing you a party.

Nny: Wait, what?

[Pinkie Pie enters Nny's house. She fires her party cannon at his living room.]

Pinkie Pie: This is gonna be great.

[Nny is shocked]

Nny: I..... I think I need to have a talk with someone for a minute. Be right back, K?

Pinkie Pie: I can wait.

[Dan meets Octavio and his men at the parking lot of the Midland Target. Dan exits his car and approaches Octavio.]

Octavio: Hey man, you got the stuff?

Dan: Wouldn't let you down Octavio. So, do you have a plan?

Octavio: Yeah, fire at the ceiling, get the special edition, burn it, then leave.

Dan: Sounds simple enough.

Octavio: Believe me, when it comes to that Twilight bitch, it's easier said then done.

[Grunkle Stan parks the car near the line at the Barnes & Nobles.]

Grunkle Stan: [As Mabel and her friends exit the car] I'll be back at four. First I've gotta drop N here off, then I'm gonna hit the bar or something like that. Well anyways, keep out of trouble.

[The car drives away. The girls get in line with Margaret.]

Mabel: Hey Margaret. I didn't know you were a Twilight fan.

Margaret: Hey Mabel. No, I'm actually here to tell off Stephenie Meyer.

Grenda: What? Why would you do that? She's like, the greatest writer ever.

Margaret: No, no. Shakespear is the greatest writer ever. Stephanie Meyer is just an anti feminist who's sole purpose is to send women back thirty years.

Mabel: [Confused] Wow, my mind just got blowned.

Candy: Wow, that was deep Margaret.

Margaret: Thank you. I can only imagine Stephenie's reaction when I say it straight to her face.

[Grunkle Stan is driving with N sitting next to him.]

N: So, did those girls drive you nearly insane too?

Grunkle Stan: I'm used to it by now.

N: It's like fucking ear sodomy. Nothing substantial and will most likely make you deaf.

Grunkle Stan: So, where in this town do you need to go?

N: The suburban areas. Just drop me off wherever. I'm sure I can find my way.

[Stan drops N off at the suburban area. N exits the car.]

N: Yeah, I can take it from here.

Grunkle Stan: Um, there's still the matter of payment.

N: Right.

[N gives Stan 80$]

Grunkle Stan: Thank you for driving Stan's transportation vehicle. Have a good day.

[Stan drives away.]

Grunkle Stan: [Holding the 80$] In this town, I'm gonna make 800 out of you.

[At the Barnes & Nobles, Dan, Octavio, and his men are walking towards the building while Margaret, Mabel and her friends are inside. They are nearing Stephenie Meyers who is giving autographs. A banners reads 3:30 PM, unavailing of special edition Twilight cover.]

Mabel: OMG Where so close to Stephenie Meyers, I can't wait to finally speak to her!

Grenda: Me either!

Candy: I know.

[They fan girl squeal. Margaret is a bit annoyed. She receives a call from Mordecai.]

Margaret: [Answering the phone] Hello?

Mordecai: Hey Margaret, doing anything later?

Margaret: I'm gonna talk of the bitch who wrote Twilight and plans to send women back three decades, but either then that I'm off for the night.

Manager: Mordecai! Hang up that damn phone and lets finish this game!

Mordecai: [Sigh] Hold on.

[Mordecai hangs up.]

Manager: So, we have come to the end of this trial. I will say, Mr. Green in the kitchen with the gun?

Mordecai: No, it was Mrs. Peacock with a knife in the ballroom.

Mananger: I said Peacock.

Rigby: No you didn't. You said Green.

Mananger: So I did. Very well. [Gives Rigby the DVD] It is now yours. You have survived my ordeal.

[They are teleported back to the DVD store.]

Rigby: Yeah! We are so gonna watch this bitch.

Mordecai: Hold on.

[Mordecai attempts to call Margaret. It is revealed that Dan, Octavio, and the others have taken the Barnes & Nobles hostage.]

Mordecai: She's not picking up.

Rigby: Maybe she's just busy or something.

Mordecai: Yeah, she said she was going to tell off the person who wrote Twilight.

Rigby: Dude, really?

Mordecai: Apparently.

Rigby: Give her some points, Twilight sucks.

Mordecai: Ain't that the truth.

Dan: [Octavio is organizing his men] Okay people, [gets out a pistol] I'm not usually a killer. But What this woman right here did was kill the vampire genre with her shitty romance story. Now, for anyone who wants to be a hero, remember that this gun is high caliber, and I will shoot if needed.

[Dan fires the gun at the window, the bullet ricochet a bit before it miraculously hits N in the hand.]

N: [In pain] Holy fuck, where did this come from?

[N looks around and see's no one. Blood is coming out his wound. He continues to walk.]

N: Must find Marceline before I.... bleed.... out....
N suffers a hand injury while Dan and Octavio take the Barns and Nobles hostage. Meanwhile Nny is thinking of what to do about the pink obsessed teenager who wishes to interfere with his life.

Nny belongs to Jhohen Vasquez

Pinkie Pie belongs to Lauren Faust

Mordecai and Rigby belong to JQ Quintel

Mabel and her friends along with Grunkle Stan belongs to Alex Hirsch

Marceline belongs to Pendleton Ward
Add a Comment:
RegularShowFan2 Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2012
admin means FOUNDER, right?
Nbbren Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Pimsleurable Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
I didn't see this BATTLESHIP, so that must make me one of the fortunate few.
DarthWill3 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very nice!

By the way, it's spelled "Barnes."
Nbbren Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah yeah I know now
DarthWill3 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Better fix that.
Nbbren Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
As the sun rises in Michigan I will commence repair
DarthWill3 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
RegularShowFan2 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012
lilmexican45 Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012
Dude, what's up Mann? Can't take word that twilight sucks?
RegularShowFan2 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
lilmexican45 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Wait, youre the admin?
Nbbren Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
k then
Nbbren Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
but it does suck

Thats the whole meaning of this fic
lilmexican45 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2012
:iconscoutdatassplz: dat fic
Nbbren Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
um what?
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
October 20, 2012
File Size
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